Never Again

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by: Cheska Briones | Tidal Thoughts

I once beg for someone to stay, to choose me again, to give ‘us’ another chance, one last try. Because maybe by that time everything will be back to the way things used to be. Because I thought maybe that time I could be the version he wants me to be, that maybe that time, he will change his mind and realize that I was really the one for him.

Really time conceals, because then I realized that, yes, I once beg for someone to stay and not leave me, but the thing that is for sure now is that I will never do those things again. Never. I realized that it is not even my worth. My worth is way more than that. No one should beg for someone’s love. If someone wants to get out of your life, hold the door wide open for them. It will cause you pain yes, but it’s even painful to let yourself caught up to something you know you can be better without. They don’t deserve a heart as pure as yours. In fact, you lost someone who doesn’t realize what he had when he has you, by that, you lost someone who doesn’t value you. And that is actually a gain for you.

We are define by different personalities that we have. You don’t change for a person to love you. You let them love you for who you really are. If there is an instance that you actually want to change, do it for yourself, to be a better version of you, not for other people.

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Cause Maybe, I’m Not Someone Worth Saving

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by: Cheska Briones | Tidal thoughts

It always feels like
the same old feeling
of drowning.
The feeling of
slowly drifting away
from the flare

And sad to say,
no one is there
to even reach for your hand.
No one is there
to even cut you off
from your own tidal thoughts

And the worst part,
people let you forget
how to deal with waves.
Because they let you believe,
that they won't ever
let you drown.

You didn't even
looked for me
when I was out of sight.
'Cause maybe,
I'm not someone
worth saving.

Just another stop over

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by: Cheska Briones | Tidal Thoughts

I thought you were the one whom they say ‘greater is coming’ . But I have come to realize that you weren’t. Maybe, just maybe, you were just another stop over before the grand destination. I have always thought… no… i made myself believe you are some kind of different, that maybe the Man up there gave me someone a lot different from someone in the past for the reward of waiting. Well, you are different, yes, because you made me believe that sometimes, love isn’t enough. That it really takes a lot. Of yourself. You were different because I have not yet encountered someone that isn’t ready. Because i have always thought that I am the one who’s not yet fully healed. Because I have always thought that I am the one who’s not yet ready to start again with another person. But then I met you, someone who is, maybe, more shattered. That it takes longer time for you to be whole again. But you made me realize one thing, that I am already willing to open up to someone again, something that I have never imagined that I am capable of already. I am more than  willing to be that person to you. But you’re telling me that I can do better with another person, well I think so, and that’s fine.

The monster in me

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by: Cheska Briones | Tidal Thoughts

People might say they love you. Like they can really mean it. But some people just can’t handle the fact of being drown into love. Some people just can’t risk the happiness that will soon turn into sadness; those joyful moments that will soon turn into fights. But why me, someone in the past made a monster inside me that tells me everybody is the same, same in a way that they will keep on hurting you. Every. Single. Time. But I wonder why despite of having that monster inside me, I still manage to pick up my broken pieces and make it whole again. I just don’t give it the power to not let me love again, to not let me take the risk again, to not let me trust somebody again. Because I will always think that it’s just so lovely being in love.

Strangers

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by: Cheska Briones | Tidal Thoughts

We were complete strangers yet we walk along the same corridors. I honestly know nothing about you. I honestly had no idea of what world you are in. But suddenly I felt this crazy feeling that I’ve been longing for so long. This feeling that someone took away from me, years ago. I start hearing whispers telling me that it’s going to be worth the risk this time. And with that, I found myself believing on those promises again, hoping that this time would be a lot different from the rest in the past.
I don’t want to assume that things would be great. I don’t want to assume that this won’t hurt, because eventually it would.